Thursday, June 25, 2009

Land Locked

This blog entry was written last week sometime while going over paperwork details for my sailing license. It’s up for renewal… 10 yrs have passed since I managed to snag it, hard to believe! Anyway, I still liked this post so I figured I’d upload it even though it isn’t fresh off the presses.

On of my favorite songs…“Your blue might be grey, your less might be more, and your window to world might be your own front door your shiniest day might come in the middle of the night… That’s just about right…”Blackhawk

Don’t you just hate it when you get the blues?

Me, too

Why does it happen and how do you make it go away?

I have yet to figure that one out. I guess you stay busy or you fight through it but man it’s annoying. I came into my nice, secure, and oh so predictable big brother job this morning and I just wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. It feels so suffocating and dull.

I remember as a kid, teenager, and then as a young adult on my way to college dreaming of a life less ordinary. That was my goal dream big, go big, and never look back. I wanted to be an astronaut and no I am not kidding. The first shuttle launched when I was in kindergarten and the Challenger blew-up on live TV in my 4th grade class. I fell out of my chair. Reality hurt. In middle school I went to Space Camp (Academy) and I was hooked. In high school I started an after school club through 4-H called Blue Sky Below My Feet. It was county wide for kids in 1st grade to middle school and ran by myself and two of my high school friends. We even got one of the physics professors at the local college to help us out and used many of the campuses classrooms for our meetings. Somewhere along the way I started flying lessons thanks to my Grandmother’s intervention and I even soloed just after my 16th birthday. I joined Civil Air Patrol and put myself on the right path to attend a service academy. Yep, I had it all figured out. Or so I thought. Until college and reality caught up with me and the academy was harder than I ever thought.

Humph!

What the heck happened?

I love my life at the ranch, that isn’t it at all. Although 007 drives me a little nuts and mildly insane I am pretty sure he’s the best things in my world and a perfect match. Poor guy, I know. Eh, I hope we balance each other out.

Space travel and flying don’t thrill me like they use too. Although, I really did get a huge kick out of the new Star Trek movie if you haven’t seen it, go.

I can say with certainty that it’s the big brother job/predictability of it, but hey it pays the bills, I have about zero responsibility most days, and rarely does anyone check my work because well they either don’t get it or don’t care to get it. I realize that sounds depressing just to write.

Sadly it is very true.

Well the job hunt is in full force but the economy is bad and so far the stars have yet to align in my favor. So yet again the sea is calling and that really annoys me.

“Changes in latitudes; changes in attitudes…” Yep, another favorite song.

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