Thursday, February 24, 2011

Keep Learning

As the years pass by and experiences stack up I am amazed at how my perception and understanding of things I once just assumed shift.

Recently I experienced a loss of someone I once knew about the same age, similar background, same lofty goals. We shared a space in time and walked the same halls. We were not close but everyone remembers that one person, that person who just never took anything to serious and always was nice to everyone.

As I learned of his passing, I assumed I must have missed something. Chances are I probably didn’t even see it. It probably wasn’t even there for me to see or for anyone for that matter.

It makes me think back to my own experiences and what mattered most to me. Specific people come to mind. They are still very important to this day. Did they make the difference? Maybe? Was I ever so hurt that I couldn’t get back up? I’d love to sit here and say, No. It would be a weird kind a lie one that you don’t want to admit too or better yet talk about. But I remember boy do I remember…

I remember how crystal clear the day was and the thought that I could get it right. All I had to do was have the guts and I honestly I remember it occurred to me as almost laughable that I didn’t. I assumed it was a choice.

I think that’s what gets to me.

We assume it’s a simple choice. Yes or No, Do or Don’t

It’s so much more complicated than that. It or what you perceive as it, starts out as something that you just can’t get right and then before you know it you’re falling down a mountain top. You can’t put the break on even if you try. You learn effectively how to get by but not how to really deal with any of it. You’re on autopilot. It’s true. You don’t want to actually look through the looking glass and have to deal, maybe another day, maybe another time but for now you simply don’t or you can’t. I think that is something to remember, sometimes you just can’t.

The unfortunate part of “all of this” is the consequences of auto pilot, of just getting by. They add up and then the shear reality of what you, yourself have put in to motion can simply be more than you can bare. So I believe and I think it’s not a choice it’s more cause and effect.

Life happens and it’s not always great. Sometimes we have the skill and sometimes we don’t and that shapes how we deal or how we don’t deal with something.

It’s not black and white, its layers upon layers and it’s different for everyone. The thing I like to remember is how complex we each are and how no one can be there all the time. Sometimes we have to look through the mirror. Sometimes we simply can’t fix it and that sucks. It really sucks!

So for me and only for me.  My way of looking at all of this is to keep learning and try to understand, to grow, to broaden my perspective. 

Thursday, February 10, 2011

A little snow goes a LONG way!

Greatings from the snow covered ranch.  It's been super cold.  When I got home I had the camera so I issued a mandate that we all bundle up and head outside to get a few snow shots in.  We lasted maybe 15minutes.  I maybe exaggerating by about 10minutes.  At one point the camera froze up!

I'm not kidding.

Sunset at the Ranch

Then my hands started to go numb and that was about the time I called it quits.  Prior to that we captured a few photos.

In these photos below are of course myself, 007 and our five German shepherd's.  Yes, you read that correctly we have five GSD's.  To give you some idea of what they are like I'll give you a run down on them in order of their arrival to our lives.
  1. Rocco - we found him via the classifieds and brought him  home at 8 weeks of age.  He picked me by sitting on my feet.  He has the typical GSD markings of black and tan.  He has no idea he's a dog, is very independent, and thinks that when the TV goes off in the evening it is time to go outside for a pee break before bed.  He's very trained and so are we!  Rocco loves his kennel and caring rocks in my yard from the flower beds.  Never mind the fact that the rocks are the boarders.  He has his own landscaping plans. 
  2. Orson - he arrived the day the former President came to town for a historical dedication.  When I called 007 and told him I'd found a GSD who was all black with some tan he thought I'd found a secret service guys missing dog.  Orson is not a working dog by a long shot, he's a goof ball, has to be close, and literally hates grass.  I'm not kidding. Orson is probably a mix and our guess is Rottweiler or Black Labrador.  It's a toss up but he's our clown.  He also has a condition known as epilepsy, which is scary in dogs but he's on medication, been to the specialist, and we have it managed.  He still occasionally has grand mal seizures but I know what to do now and that makes all the difference.  
  3. Scout - He is our oldest and was adopted from a shelter via  007 found him online and feel in-love with him.  I drove to pick him up with Rocco.  I refused to leave the shelter until he was with me.  He was really sick but I didn't know that at the time.  He had a really bad case of kennel cough but with the help of our Vet we got him healthy and now he's a happy old man of the ranch.  We think Scout is also a mix with maybe a bloodhound.  He has a very long face.  Scout has a number of scares from his past one of which is his ear that won't stand up.  We still think he's handsome!
  4. Gretta - She showed up one morning at the clinic as stray.  I managed to get a slip leash on her by putting some can food out and tricking her.  Once I had her I was pretty happy she was friendly.  I brought her into the clinic and 007 gave her a bath.  She was so sweet we just feel for her instantly.  This was around the time we were buying the ranch and we decided if  we got the ranch she could stay.  Prior to that we lived in-town and didn't think the city would take to kindly to four GSD's in our home.  We think Gretta may have some wolf in her.  She was probably a garbage dog in the city.  At some point she lived with people because she was well socialized.  She is very unique and does very well with our cats.
  6. Nala - She is 007 baby girl and the dog he just had to have from the pet store.  She was getting to old for the store so her price was marked way down.  He was worried that she would go to a bad home, that was one of the many tactics he used to convince me to add her to our home.  They have gone through extensive training together.  Nala is still a nut job and does this highly annoying whine bark whenever she wants to do something.  I HATE it!  I am also convinced that she has doggy ADD or she's simply a puppy.  Hard to say.  She's also all black and adorable  when she smiles at you and hangs out that big old tongue of hers. She is 100% GSD for sure. 

Now for the winter fun photos!  Notice how bundled up I am and I still froze half to death!

Rocco, Scout, Me, Orson, Gretta. 
Not pictured is Nala who has ADD and couldn't be bothered to slow down for a photo opt.
Up by the pond 007 with the gang.  Orson is front and center, Gretta is on his right and Rocco is on his left. Scout is hiding behind him and Nala can be seen running around in the back.

This is what happens when I try to take a photo of 007, he talks.  With him in this photo is Orson and Scout.
another smiling shot this time Orson, 007, and Scout, and Rocco walking up to them.

Hugs all around and then we all headed inside because it was freaking COLD outside!